A new level of crazy

I feel like our house has reached a new level of crazy lately.  It’s been busy since we became parents, and of course the overall neediness increased when Avery joined the family.  We went through a period of adjustment after she arrived, and for a while (somewhere between her being one-year and 18 months old), things seemed to have settled down into a new rhythm.  However, for the last couple of months, I feel like the chaos-level of our house has increased to new heights.  I don’t operate well under chaos.  Having toys and various household items strewn all over the house stresses me out.  Add whining and screaming to that, and I very easily lose my cool.  Many days I feel like I need about three times more patience than I possess in my being.

I keep thinking back to last summer, when I seemed to be much more productive in the evenings and was able to stay awake past 9pm.  I feel like we’ve somewhat reverted back to survival mode again, and at the end of the day, when we pick the kids up from daycare/preschool, we are generally in for it during the evening hours.  Add two tired and cranky kids to two tired parents, and the end result is some evenings that are a lot to handle.

The funny part about all of this is that as parents we mistakenly assume that what we are going through is somehow isolated to our own family.  A good friend who has two kids the same ages as ours recently confessed how challenging their days and evenings have been and how her kids can make 10 minutes feel like 10 hours.  Then she mentioned how well my kids play together.  She said, “Your girls probably play quietly together while you’re cooking dinner, don’t they?”  I busted out laughing and wanted to fall out of my chair.  “Are you kidding?!”  was my response.  Cooking generally results in Avery hanging on my legs chanting, “Mamamama” and “Up Peees (please)!”   So this same friend and I now share stories of how our weeks went - if they’ve been slightly easier or more challenging than usual.

I try hard not to complain, and I’ve never been one to try to one-up others with my stories.  The reality is that we are SO BLESSED.  I know that.  But I’ve realized it is important to be open and honest about the phases of parenthood we’re going through.  Because by sharing, a friend and I can help each make the hard times seem easier, if only by knowing that it’s normal and we’re not the only ones experiencing particular challenges.  I’ve also talked to parents who have slightly older children who have told me that it DOES get easier.  I tend to think that it won’t (just like I was convinced that Clara would never sleep through the night!), but deep down I know that they are right.  This is a phase that will pass.  I’ve also been told that I’ll look back and miss these days.  I’m skeptical of that for this particular phase, but I am trying not to miss the joyful moments amidst the chaos.